from a pastor's wife at Christmas
Life is hard; food doesn't have to be #118 [vol5, 12.3]
Our college son is home!! He sent a list of requests: lots of bread, beef stroganoff, pot roast with mashed potatoes, chicken pot pie, chewy buttery gingerbread cookies, and homemade pizza. He tried and loved the Beef Biryani that I wrote about here. Last night we brainstormed easy meals he could meal prep for lunches next semester (I’ll share soon.) I love cooking for people who love to eat.
Over the years this newsletter has morphed and grown (so have I!) Five years ago it started as an opportunity to tell friends about what I was eating, how I prepared it, and why. In the early days I knew all the readers in real life. Thanks to readers sharing + networking with Substack others have found me and I’m glad you’re all here.
Almost three years ago my husband became a pastor for the first time. We had been in full-time Christian work our whole 22 year marriage, mostly with FamilyLife, a marriage ministry of Cru. Now I find myself in a role I said I would never do: a pastor’s wife. Never say never, eh?
While I usually write about food in this space, today I’m sharing from the heart — to friends.
You may assume from the size of our sanctuary that our church is affluent. This Christmas season my heart has been broken from needs in our church like never before. Above is pictured a long standing tradition called “White Christmas.” Where members bring non-perishable food wrapped in white to be distributed to those in need.
My heart Sunday morning was already tender from conversations before the service. As you can imagine, people tell the pastor and his wife things they don’t typically tell others. During service, young parents of three kids asked me to pray with them. His truck had been stolen …from the library! where he was with his kids! He is an electrician and all his tools were in the truck. The truck was later recovered yet tools gone. As you can imagine this is an overwhelming loss.
After the service my husband invited everyone to bring their White Christmas non-perishable food to the front.
It’s a tricky thing to sit on the front row as the pastor’s wife. You want people to know you see them but also not stare too long. Plus, I love people. I love watching people. I noticed one family, each bringing a single can wrapped in white. Floodgates fell from my eyes. I know this family doesn’t have great excess. Yet, like the widow in Scripture who brought her mite, they brought something to share.
Along with non-perishable food, the church adds a frozen turkey, gallon of milk, bread and a few fresh items like potatoes and apples with aims to distribute the food to 25-30 families. The community at large is aware of our White Christmas and people call the church to be on a waiting list to receive these boxes of food. One grandma called the church office the day before saying she was unprepared to receive custody of four grandchildren and isn’t sure how they’ll make ends meet.
This year more families than ever were identified WITHIN our church with great need. More than half of the boxes went to people within our walls.
What’s my part?
Being the pastor’s wife I am privy to some of the stories. One of the selfish reasons I didn’t want to become a pastor’s wife is that I didn’t want my heart broken on the reg knowing these stories. And also, I see now how God is using my gifts and experiences to serve the church.
As you’ve read here in the past, I’ve been involved with Wednesday night suppers. It’s a meal that facilitates friendships before our mid-week services. My passion has been to increase the nutrient density of these meals all while training others how to make nourishing food for their own families.
It’s impossible to make Wednesday night suppers by myself, in the same way I cannot meet the the needs of our church by myself. I try to connect those in need with those who have abilities.
How You Could Help
Money doesn’t make problems go away but it does make some problems less stressful. Two women I want to help this Christmas are outlined below. Could you buy them a coffee to lift their spirits? Perhaps you are have means to be more generous. Maybe you are already giving generously elsewhere and for now you pray for them.
As you imagine, it’s tricky to write about their stories in a public space so if you have questions or want to help further please reach out.
Tammy fled in the night from her seriously abusive husband with only the clothes on her back. She found solace at her step dad's, a half mile from my house. Her mother has passed. She has been actively involved at church for at least a year and I have seen major growth and changes.
She has 3 kids, one daughter is functioning autistic. Tammy has worked 3rd shift since I've known her. I honestly don't know how she does it.
She texts me often saying things like "I can't get enough of the Bible. It's the only thing I read....what verses do you recommend I start to memorize?" She is one of the hungriest Christians I have met.
Yet she can't seem to get a break. One thing after another knocks her on her face. She smashed/broke a finger on her dominant hand at work a few weeks ago. She recently had major oral surgery with another major surgery planned for January.
[Tammy’s Venmo: @tlc928 the last 4 digits of phone as verification is 3803]
I’ve included each woman’s Venmo as it seems easiest gifting method for most. If you don’t use Venmo, the church's address to mail a check is 8911 Third Street Rd., Lou, KY 40272 or the website for online giving (make a note to give to which woman). Per IRS guidelines you cannot receive a tax credit for designated gifts.
Tiffany is a homeschooling mom with 2 daughters, one is functioning autistic. She has a beautiful voice which helps lead our congregation in worship. Our small group recently collected a love offering for her yet she has on-going needs. Tiffany has a robust website, is a great writer and has written a beginners guide to fasting and prayer. It has 164! ratings on Amazon! John recommends it. Buy a copy of her book and read it and leave a review on Amazon -- which helps authors. Do you have connections with writing needs for hire? That would be an incredible help to Tiffany.
[Venmo @hopejoyinchrist] -the last 4 digits of phone as verification is 7985 ]
Giving a small or large gift to one or both women would be a serious blessing to them. I hope you will consider something. If each person reading gave a few dollars it would lift their heads and potentially be an incredible impact on their lives.
If you’re like me it’s fun to bless others unexpectedly. Even more fun when it’s an organized group. Both women will be supremely grateful.
Life is hard; food doesn’t have to be.
Julie